Grief

“No one ever told me that grief is so much like fear.” – C.S. Lewis 

Here, there are simply no words. There may not be silence either. There may not be anything at all.  

You just are. You just exist. But you now exist without ___________.  

Maybe it was slow and you’ve known it was coming for awhile. You miss them, and it hurts, but there is more a sense of relief.  

Maybe it was sudden, unexpected, within days, all the sudden __________, is simply just gone. This is shocking and extremely painful.  

 *************** 

Let the silence hang, and allow me for a moment to sit with you in it. Let the tears come, if they can, and allow me to sit here with you for a moment with them.  

************** 

There’s that place of Still and Never Again.  

That place where you can hardly breathe.  

That place of “how can I go on without ______.” 

That place “what do I do now?” 

That place “what do I do about…” 

That place of “I’m so sorry to hear about ________. How are you doing?” 

That place where initially support is everywhere.  

And then that place where suddenly the support is gone when you need it the most.  

That place of “I don’t know how I’m going to do this without ________.” 

That place of “I don’t know how I’m going to get through …” 

Sometimes there’s that place where you wake up and you forget ________ is gone, and you have to relive the sudden jolt of loss again.  

The place of the audacity of the world that just keeps going on, people keep living on, when you have had your world ripped apart and you can’t do anything and don’t want to.  

This place of grief is a very lonely and painful place to be.  

And, for those of us who have lost a loved one in Christ, there is hope, light, and strangely, joy also. How heartbreaking, body shaking, world shattering pain and joy can co-exist is only a mystery that exists in Christ and nowhere else.  For those of us who are IN Christ, we do not grieve like those without Him grieve.  

I lost my mother on 9/18/2025 at 8:30 am MST. It was sudden and unexpected. I wasn’t prepared and wasn’t ready. But such was the date and time that the Lord has ordained that she would come home to Him in the fullness of the reality of what her Lord Christ Jesus had done for her. The best day and moment of her existence… but one of my worst days.  

Most of us will experience the death and loss of a parent. This is normal and expected. It awaits most of us. Most of us will face this moment. Similar to, is the death of our grandparents. All my grandparents also have passed from this earth and into Glory.